


Forever Loving You

by misckpopstuff (Sphenimersus)



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:45:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9280439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sphenimersus/pseuds/misckpopstuff
Summary: A love of three years end with a sudden love that developed. Jiyong has to tell Youngbae about his feelings and possibly lose a friend of 16 years. Youngbae already knows everything and needs to decide if he wants to fight or let go.





	1. Forever Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted on [AFF](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1095677/forever-loving-you-bigbang-gdyb-gri-tobae-lightangst).
> 
> This is super light angst, kinda sad, really sweet, but not quite fluffy.  
> If you'd like, you can imagine it as an alternate universe where they're not famous, but I think it could work irl.
> 
>  **Edit:** I realized that I put the wrong tags (Baeri instead of Tobae). If any readers out there were confused, I apologize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [AFF](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1095677/1/forever-loving-you-bigbang-gdyb-gri-tobae-lightangst) on March 1st 2016.

The two are at the cafe where they first met when they were toddlers following their mothers. The cafe where they shared secrets of their first love, first kiss (well, for Jiyong), and first time (again, for Jiyong). The cafe where they professed their love for each other three years ago. The cafe where they had their first date. And now, the cafe where Youngbae is pretty sure they’ll have their last date.

His heart still feels the undying love that he has held for Jiyong. _Countless years_. He knew it was coming though. Really, it all should have ended a few months ago when Youngbae noticed Jiyong daydreaming about someone else on their date. When Youngbae heard Jiyong call out a name other than his when they were hugging each other in bed.

They’ve never had sex because Youngbae is extremely devout to his beliefs and Jiyong understood that and was willing to wait. Over the years though, they’ve kissed a few times on special occasions. Youngbae reminisces their first kiss together - his first kiss. It was sweet, gentle, yet somehow hard. _Intoxicating, quite honestly._

Youngbae sighs and looks at the man before him. He tries to smile, but he knows his eyes aren’t shining brightly. He nods to the younger male, “You’ve fallen for someone else.” It’s a statement, not a question, but he doesn’t need to ask. He knows Jiyong too well. So much that it used to be amazing. But now, so much that it hurts.

Jiyong nods while taking a sip from his cup. “Seungri.”

“I know,” Youngbae whispers. He continues before Jiyong could ask him ‘how’ in shock. “You’re not very subtle, Ji. But he’s a nice kid.” He smiles sadly, “I hope you’ll be happy with him.”

Jiyong blinks in surprise. This probably was the cleanest break-up he’s ever had. Given, most of his break-ups were caused by his exes finding him in bed with another, but there were others where he knew his partner had truly loved him for who he was. Those were the messier break-ups. Tears and anger from his partners who cursed him for not loving them back after dating for a few months. He expected Youngbae to lash out in anger, frustration, and sorrow.

He lifts his head up to see the older man. All he sees is a smile, wishing him happiness. And eyes laced with a myriad of emotions - sadness, love, adoration, sorrow, and… hope? But not anger. Jiyong watches Youngbae’s expressions carefully before he asks, “Bae, why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you fighting for me to stay?” Confusion is evident in both his tone and eyes.

Youngbae chuckles, “Because love isn’t something you can control, Ji. Even if I love you, I won’t be enough. I can’t make you happy. I wish for everyone I love to have happiness - even if I can’t have mine. I want you to be happy, Ji. Even if it means seeing you with someone else. Even if I feel pain seeing you with another.”

Jiyong is struck speechless by Youngbae’s words. He had never thought of love like that. Where loving someone is to see the one you love happy - even if it’s with another person.

Youngbae simply smiles and tells Jiyong, “Go be with Seungri. Go be happy with him.”

If others were to say those words, it would have sound spiteful and bitter. But with Youngbae, it sounds true and sincere. Gentle. Jiyong stands and bows slightly to Youngbae, “The one that truly deserves your love will be extremely lucky.” He runs out of the cafe to find his love.

Youngbae hears the last words of their final date and thinks sadly, _You've always deserved my love, Jiyong. And I'll stand to the side, by your side, forever loving you._


	2. Still Loving You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [AFF](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1095677/2/forever-loving-you-bigbang-gdyb-gri-tobae-lightangst) on May 31st 2016.

It’s that cafe again. It’s been five years since they broke up. At first, it was awkward - mainly because of Jiyong. Youngbae hides his feelings well. But they’re still best friends. Nevertheless, Youngbae can feel his heart shattering when he sees Jiyong walking in with a ring on his left hand. _Marriage._ Even so, he smiles brightly, happy for his friends. “Congratulations,” he says before Jiyong can say anything.

Jiyong grins and Youngbae almost flinches at the beauty of the smile that he could never draw out when they were together. Jiyong hugs him, “Thanks! So, how have you and Sunghyun-hyung been?”

Youngbae replies, “We’ve been doing well. How about you? Other than getting married, of course.” He internally cringes at what he says, thinking it sounded bitter and angry.

Jiyong laughs, oblivious to Youngbae’s turmoil of emotions. “Everything has been amazing. We’re going to get married in December.”

“In five months? That’s pretty fast, isn’t it?” Youngbae blinks in surprise.

Jiyong shrugs, “We’ll make it work. Anyways,” he takes out an envelope from inside his jacket, “Here’s your invitation. I wanted to give it to you personally and ask you something.”

“Really?”

“Yup,” Jiyong nods. His figure barely stiffens in nervousness, but Youngbae sees it. “So Bae, will you be my best man for the wedding.”

The last thing connecting his mind to sanity begins to crack. Youngbae holds onto the parting sanity desperately as he agrees with a half-true and half-fake smile, “Sure.”

Jiyong hugs him again and relaxes his tense shoulders. “Thank you,” he says, grateful for having such an amazing friend (and once lover). “I’ll see you later!”

Youngbae waves his hand at the departing figure, “Bye…” He stares at the envelope in his hand and is tempted to just throw it away. But he can’t bring himself to do it - not to his best friend, not to his love, not to _Jiyong_.

* * *

Youngbae walks home with dead eyes. He finds Seunghyun on the couch and collapses beside the older male. His hands reach for the other, but Seunghyun seems to have noticed his pain. He feels arms wrapping around him tightly while his head is pulled to the taller man’s chest. that’s when he begins to sob. In the arms of someone that loves him so dearly, but he can’t return that love completely.

Yes, he loves Seunghyun. So much. More than a friend; more than a brother. He sees and loves Seunghyun as a lover, but Jiyong was his first love. Youngbae would never be able to forget his adoration for Jiyong. He whispers a broken “I’m sorry” before falling asleep in Seunghyun’s arms.

* * *

Youngbae wakes up still in Seunghyun’s arms.

Seunghyun looks at the boy - man, really, but Seunghyun only sees a child in Youngbae. He caresses the younger male’s hair gently, “Bae, how are you?”

“Tired,” Youngbae replies, leaning into the touch. They sit in silence until Youngbae gives the wedding invitation to Seunghyun. “Jiyong asked me to be his best man.”

Seunghyun’s heart burns in fury. _He shouldn’t even be allowed to ask you to the wedding,_ he thinks. _Much less ask you to be his best man_. But he holds his anger and quietly asks, “Do you want to?” He knows it’s what Youngbae needs. A question for him to think about in a quiet environment to think things through.

Youngbae shakes his head, “I don’t know. I already told him I would, but I know I’ll break down while giving the speech.”

Seunghyun nods, “It’ll be okay. I’ll be with you. Do what your heart tells you to do.” He feels an imperceptible nod and a murmur of thanks from Youngbae.

* * *

December

A happy occasion. Everyone laughs jubilantly when Daesung says something about Seungri. Youngbae shuffles nervously; it’s almost his turn to do the best man speech. He glances up to find Seunghyun’s eyes who smiles at him encouragingly. Taking a deep breath, he walks to the center of the ballroom with a mic. His eyes catches a piano being rolled in.

Daesung finishes his best man speech for Seungri and smiles at Youngbae. He knows what the other man is about to do. “Good luck,” he whispers.

Youngbae nods in appreciation, “Thanks.” He waits for everyone to be quiet. “Good evening everyone. I am Youngbae, as you probably already know.” A clamor behind him lets him know that the piano is being positioned on the stage. He continues, “First, I would like to both thank and apologize to Seungri. Thank you for making Jiyong happy. And I’m sorry for doing what is about to happen.”

Everyone looks at him curiously as he walks up to the stage. Seunghyun gives him a thumbs-up and a beautiful smile. He smiles back nervously. Daesung mouths to him “Good luck” again.

Taking in a deep breath, he plays the intro to “Wedding Dress”.

 _Can't believe what's goin' on_  
Gotta keep my cool, be calm  
When I heard you and he was screamin' out of control  
All I can think about is "No, no, no... he won't  
Hurt the one I've cared for so long, long... Hell, no."  
I know we're done, and now it's none of my concern but how  
Can two be windin' out from only weeks in goin' out  
Just makes me feel that what we had was real  
Could it be or is it too late? (Oh, oh baby)

_..._

_I've never felt so strong_  
Life can lead us to a happiness never ending  
If we just know that we belong to each other  
Never worry, grow as we go  
See you in your wedding dress  
I can see you in your wedding dress  
I see you walking down in your ... (Wedding dress)  
I can see you in your wedding dress (Oh, yeah)

After four minutes of playing the song, Youngbae stands up and bows while everyone nervously applauds. He takes the mic again and continues to speak. “Umm, so yes. I think you know why I apologized, Seungri.” He intentionally avoids the eyes of the two newlyweds feeling confusion watching him and fury boring into him. He looks for his lover’s supportive gaze.

Youngbae breathes in deeply, “I want to thank Jiyong for letting me know what love is. You’re my first love and I am _still loving you_ even though I love Seunghyun-hyung.” Seunghyun grins at him proudly. His voice shakes and his eyes shine with hidden tears. “And so, because I love you Jiyong. Because I am _still loving you_ after all these years. I hope you’ll be happy with Seungri. I hope both of you will be happy together forever.” He lifts a glass of champagne, “To the newlyweds, to my friends, to the people who love each other sincerely. Today is your day, and I wish lasting happiness between the two of you. Cheers!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3  
> I'm actually writing a Tobae multi-chapter in this verse, but idk how long it'll be before I'm done.


End file.
